


I’ll Be There For You (when the rain starts to pour)

by darkblueandcloudy



Series: so no one told you life was gonna be this way [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Neurodivergent keith, Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Season/Series 02, Sort Of, Trans Keith (Voltron), in between season 2 and 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28384287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkblueandcloudy/pseuds/darkblueandcloudy
Summary: After season 2, before season 3.Shiro is gone, and Keith’s more scared, tired and lonely than ever, to the point where the others begin to notice a change in his behaviour.Luckily, Lance is there for Keith after a meltdown in the training room.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: so no one told you life was gonna be this way [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079735
Kudos: 55





	I’ll Be There For You (when the rain starts to pour)

**Author's Note:**

> TW: sensory overload and hypersensitivity, slight violence, mentions of anxiety, tiny bit of language
> 
> (sorry btw i think like none of the italics worked except for one??)

The training room was cold, and felt as much like a winter morning on Earth as any room could on a ship in the middle of space. This had never bothered Keith, not like some other things did. He had his gloves to help with those.  
  
Throughout the few months the group had spent on the castle, sparring with the castle’s training bot had slowly become his main source of comfort. But at this point, with Shiro gone and team Voltron short a paladin, Keith’s relentless training had become more of a half-hearted distraction and a way to escape than anything else. He used it as a way to bury his anxieties, his self-deprecating thoughts and the rest of his fears, which now seemed to be building up behind the wall he’d encased them in.  
  
It appeared the rest of the team had noticed a change in his behaviour now, too. It started with Allura’s professional, though gently probing questions; had he eaten enough today, how long had he been training for, followed by subtle attempts to push him in a different direction; ‘you should put more focus in your team bonding exercises, we must be stronger now more than ever. You’ve trained enough in the last few quintants to last you a deca-phoeb.’ It became frustrating, if you asked Keith. Though if he thought about it, he supposed she was only trying to help.  
But no mention of Shiro, not one.  
  
Pidge had approached him one night (well, one of the castle’s sleep cycles), a glass of water in one hand and a small gadget in the other. She tried a more direct approach. She was always much more blunt than Allura, Keith had observed. Pidge had called off the training bot and promptly sat down with him, passing him the water. It hadn’t tasted like water from Earth, there was a different quality about it that reminded Keith of Allura, it almost tasted the way she smelled. Or the way her voice sounded when she spoke.  
  
He and Pidge hadn’t spoken about much that night, but he’d at least expected her to say something about Shiro. Like Allura, she hadn’t said a thing.  
  
Even Hunk started asking him regularly if he was okay. Keith knew that the boy had never fully trusted him after he revealed his Galran heritage, but he appeared to be showing genuine concern for Keith now, which made him feel a little better. But that short lived elation was starting to deteriorate, as not even Hunk acknowledged Shiro’s absence. It was as if he’d never existed.  
  
Coran would offer Keith extra snacks while they were on the bridge of the castle, or words of encouragement after long meetings, but it was never enough. Keith was beginning to feel as if he was being selfish, even if he wasn’t entirely sure why. Was he asking too much of his team? Did they even know enough about what he was feeling for him to have the right to be hurt by their dismissal?  
  
He wasn’t even sure what he wanted anymore; if it was for Shiro to somehow be okay, or just for somebody to acknowledge that he might be dead, while here the rest of them were, acting like nothing had happened and enjoying the luxuries of diplomacy and temporary peace.  
  
  
Keith swung his bayard with all his remaining strength, but it barely grazed the robot. He tried again, and again, and again, each time to no avail. At this point, he might as well be slashing at nothing. He could feel his body straining to lift the weapon, mustering as much energy possible before each strike, releasing and slumping afterwards with the effort.  
  
Keith gritted his teeth and grunted as he sent one more petulant swipe in the robot’s direction, but he couldn’t see it through his blurred vision. His body heaved with the effort, back aggressively rising and falling as he fell forward into a defeated kneel, resting his palms on his knees.  
  
Keith’s chest and ribs hurt and his eyes stung, a lump catching in his throat. He couldn’t breathe. His bayard deactivating as it clattered to the floor, he choked on a sob and coughed as he pressed his forearm across his face, covering his eyes. Nobody could be allowed to see him like this. Only Shiro. Shiro would know what to say, he always had. Why couldn’t he be here now? Why couldn’t Shiro be here for him, when Keith needed the natural warmth that always radiated from him, the cozy smell that always felt out of place in the rigid Garrison culture?  
  
‘Please... Shiro...’ Keith whispered. He knew, logically, that nobody could answer him. He didn’t believe there was any God or deity out there that could help. No matter how desperately he begged.  
  
‘Please, I... I just want you to come b-‘  
The hushed plea was cut off as a hard object made contact with Keith’s stomach, knocking him onto his back, flat on the floor and completely vulnerable. His eyes widened and his vision became hazier with more tears.  
  
‘End- end training..’ he choked, but he couldn’t get the words out. The sound of the training bot’s weapon making contact with the harsh floor was shrill in Keith’s ears as he rolled sideways to narrowly avoid the collision.  
The training room was suddenly too bright, too open and huge compared to him. The artificial lighting burned his eyes. The robot was unfamiliar and unforgiving, and Keith was suddenly aware of every movement and noise it made, but could barely get his body to respond.  
  
A foot landed on the floor between his knees; a horrible screech of metal as it dragged slightly. The tip of the sword hung precariously near his face, a faint buzzing noise resounding through his head. A grinding sound rang in his ears as it took another step, flipping its sword and ramming the butt of it into his chest as he shakily held his arms in front of his face.  
  
A pained shriek erupted from Keith’s throat but it didn’t feel like him. Shaky huffs of ‘stop’ and ‘please’ rattled the air around him, and breaths were now coming in short, strained pants. His chest felt tighter and his throat closed up. The painful throbbing underneath his binder felt like his heart was going to explode. He just wanted to curl in a ball, and for the robot to go away, along with the noises and the lights. He wanted-  
  
‘End training sequence!’  
Keith automatically covered his ears, but at least the metallic noises had stopped. His eyes were squeezed shut, but he could hear trainers squeaking towards him. The lights still burned through his eyelids.  
  
‘What’s- holy... hey, Keith, buddy, it’s okay. I- I’ve got you.’ A tentative hand touched his shoulder, but Keith flinched and the hand was quickly removed. The person was kneeling beside him and the robot was gone. It’s fine, Keith tried to convince himself.  
‘You’re safe. It’s me, Lance. It’s ok. I promise.’  
_Lance. _Keith took a deep, slightly stilted breath. Lance would make everything better. _He’s good at that. _  
‘You know, if you want to talk, or if you want anything at all, I’m here for you. If you want me to back off, that’s fine too. Just- I’m here, yeah?’ His voice was soft and gentle but at the same time comfortingly deep, and Keith shivered.  
  
He uncovered his ears and opened his eyes. Lance was kneeling down beside him, obviously concerned but trying to look confident, his short hair hanging down as he hovered over Keith.  
  
‘Hi,’ Lance whispered.  
‘What happened there?’ Keith just shook his head and sat up slowly, blinking away from the lights and turning to Lance. He didn’t meet the boy’s eyes, instead opting to watch Lance’s neck move as he swallowed.  
  
Keith inhaled as deep as he could and huffed loudly to try and soothe the tight ball in his stomach, eyes briefly flicking up to the eyes of the boy in front of him, before retreating back down again.  
  
‘So... are you okay now?’ Lance dipped his head to try and meet his eyes. ‘Can I- I mean, is it alright if I touch you? I know you didn’t like it before but... I don’t know, I thought you might want...’  
‘Yeah,’ Keith breathed, but he sounded so quiet to his own ears he wasn’t sure if Lance heard.  
  
He got his answer as the boy instantly smiled and perked up. The reaction reminded Keith of a dog when it’s name is called, and somehow that was comforting to him. Finding himself unable to open his mouth again, Keith simply spread his arms and hoped the other boy understood.  
  
Lance’s eyes widened slightly and he shuffled closer, cautiously leaning in as if Keith might react badly, finally embracing him in a weak hug.  
The feather light touches encircling Keith made him twitchy and the ball in his stomach tightened, so he squeezed Lance tighter.  
  
Thankfully Lance returned the favour, and Keith finally felt the ball start to unravel. The sturdy embrace was comforting and secure, and he didn’t want to move.  
  
They remained in the same position for what must have been at least ten minutes, but then again, Keith had never had a good perception of time. Lance continued to hold him as he sobbed into the other boy’s shoulder, tears staining the white hoodie and his nose getting bunched up in the material.  
Keith nudged the hood off his face and tightened his arms around Lance’s shoulders, pressing his cheek against his neck. He breathed shakily as the tears began to subside, starting to register Lance’s natural smell.  
His skin was warm, and Keith couldn’t describe the smell as anything but Lance, but if he had to put a label, it might have been orange and chocolate mixed with a bit of sea salt, and an undertone of... familiar, somehow comforting boy smell. Lance reeked of Earth, achingly familiar smells of home.  
  
He then nosed at the tufts of hair curling under Lance’s ear, which smelt decidedly like...  
‘Why does your hair smell like Allura?’ he mumbled.  
Lance jolted back and held Keith’s shoulders an arms distance away, a goofy smile on his face.  
  
‘I walk in to the training room only to find you on the floor, then hug you for like fifteen minutes while you cry all over me, and the first thing you say is that my hair smells like Allura?’ Lance shook his head incredulously.  
‘I- I just noticed it, is all! It’s kinda weird,’ Keith spluttered indignantly, blushing at the realisation he’d spent that long practically kissing Lance’s neck. And that Lance now knew Keith was smelling him. _Oh God._  
  
His face only heated up more when Lance’s stupid grin morphed into a smile, tilting his head slightly, eyes softening until he had a _really cute_ , fond look on his face.  
  
‘Seriously though, are you feeling better? I know it’s easy to laugh stuff off but...’  
Keith’s heart sped up. _Lance was so damn cute when he cared._  
  
‘Yeah I’m feeling a lot better now,’ he gave Lance a small smile, quickly wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.  
‘But you still haven’t told me why your hair smells like Allura.’  
  
‘Oh! Yeah, she let me borrow her hair products. I mean, I don’t really know what most of them are for... there are so many, and they’re all in Altean, but it’s nice to have something. You know, since I obviously can’t use my own stuff ‘cause it’s back on Earth... It was all coconut scented. I miss it. I always liked using it at the Garrison ‘cause it reminded me of back home...’  
  
Keith chuckled and ran his fingers through Lance’s hair, never breaking their eye contact.  
‘At least it doesn’t clash with your smell, which is really nice, by the way. Kinda reminds me of chocolate and the beach.’ The other boy blinked almost comically, and Keith swore he could see a hint of a blush on his cheeks.  
  
Lance cleared his throat with an awkward cough.  
‘Uh, well... thanks. I guess you’re okay now so...’ He abruptly stood up and unnecessarily adjusted his jacket, eyes darting down to Keith for half a second and then looking anywhere else but him.  
  
Keith tried to shrug off the disappointment as he mirrored Lance, feeling slightly rejected. He promptly shook the feeling away as Lance turned around to walk out.  
  
‘Hey uh...’ Lance stopped walking, keeping his body angled toward the exit but turning his head to look at Keith over his shoulder, in a way Keith could only describe as the single sexiest thing he’d ever seen.  
‘I think I already said this but... I hope you know I’m always here if you need anything, even just a talk. Um- I’m actually a pretty good listener, and- well, I feel like I never really gave you a chance, with this stupid rivalry thing. That is, if you want to- be friends, I mean. I’d like that, I think.’  
  
Keith had no idea how to respond to Lance’s admission, so he stood there and nodded silently before regaining his bearings and letting out a small, embarrassed cough.  
  
‘Um, yeah. Thanks.’  
_What the fuck,_ he scolded himself. Lance gave him a small quizzical look but smiled nevertheless, turning back around to leave Keith and his stupid mouth behind in the training room.  
  
_Ugh. Just speak like a normal person, goddammit. _  
  
He’d almost disappeared behind the corner when Keith took a few steps to catch up.  
  
‘That was a yes! By the way,’ he called, grinning and biting his lip when Lance laughed with a shout of ‘Yeah I got you Samurai!’ down the hall.  
  
A sharp pain under his chest reminded him of the time, and he hurried back to his room to strip off his binder, breathing a sigh of relief and rubbing his probably bruised ribs.  
  
It would be okay though, right? Because now he had Lance. Lance was his friend. And maybe he could talk to him about Shiro. No matter what, he knew he hadn’t given up on any of his friends just yet. Or himself.__

**Author's Note:**

> would just like to note: i know that a lot of people hate touch after a meltdown like this, but i would just like to clarify to avoid confusion that some people do like physical pressure (personally, in minor situations with a texture i don’t like, i will squeeze the part of my body that touched the material to relieve anxiety)
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading xx


End file.
